Showing posts from September, 2008

What does the horsey say? Neigh!

My first day of work after arriving in Bridgeport, Connecticut was with the Aspetuck Land Trust, one of our project sponsors. Sunday was their annual family fun fest, a fund raising and awareness event at which families in the community can participate in various activities like a nature walk, tractor ride, face painting, and pony rides! My job for the day was assisting with the pony rides, essentially lifting east-coast kids up into the saddles all day long and laughing to myself as their parents walked along side in their penny loafers, taking pictures and side stepping shit. Monotonous, but fun. And it made me miss the farm at home so much.

From Ardor, Zest.

I suppose my fascination with the farm, or even farming lifestyle, began at some unidentifiable point and has grown rapidly since I was immersed following my junior year of high school in the manual labor my male (but not female) relatives were entitled/obliged to do.

From Ardor, Zest.

Trying to remember my earliest memories of the…

Vast Possibilities


When work becomes monotonous I pull out of reality and enter my world of dreams. I've thought about documenting the different fantasies just so I can look back in time and see what materializes.

Recently during work we have been meandering the hills of West Virginia by van and foot, sometimes in soaking wet clothes from a mishap in a swamp or dunk in the creek, sometimes with soggy waders, and always a smile on my face. Our project sponsor Sarah said to me that when we are doing field work it's clear I am in my element and enjoy what I'm doing. It's true! I wish I could spend all my time in mountains, hills, trees and water. Every day this week has involved some time at a body of water: swamp, gorge, creek, rapid, tributary, river. The critters don't bother me much anymore, the wildlife are still magnificent, and the livestock remind me of home.

One day while building wood duck nest boxes, bat boxes and bluebird boxes I drifted into my imagination and wondered…


The shoes on the soles of my feet have seen me through a lot. They took me on long summer walks, pedaled my bike up the hill to school every day, trekked through the snow and rain of fall and winter, and took me on a train trip across the US. They have traveled with me to every city and state since I left Utah.

My shoes have soul. Sadly, they don't have much for sole anymore.

Tonight I was thinking of what I will do when I finally break through the soles of my shoes... and wondered what it is that caused such serious wear and tear at the balls of my feet. Besides normal use, I think the spring in my step, the never-ending dance my body does, has aggravated the decline in one of my most personal belongings I currently have with me. So many nights of twist and shout, a bit of charleston, and a whole lotta interpretive & modern dance have shaped these shoes to my feet. I can't imagine parting with them.

I think I'll hop on in to a shoe shop (if I can find one)... and see wha…

to myself.

Dear Amanda,

These are aspects of my life in which I find joy. Best of luck in the future with fulfilling your dreams.

Knitting, sewing, crocheting, cooking, organizing, gardening, canning.
Conversation, talk radio, learning (school/personal), new activities, travel, listening, reading, writing.
Family, girl friends, lovers, community, diversity, children.
Water, dirt, mountains, rivers, trees, tall grass, farm land, lakes/ponds/oceans, shade, sunshine, wind, the smell of alfalfa.
Bicycles, long drives, quiet walks, spandex, swimming, dance, nudity.
Tea, morning, skin, smiles, vision, dreams, scent, dresses, laughter, love, fresh produce.

I celebrate life daily. I have the desire to disappear from the radar for a while, hide in the shadows of great mountains and great people, reflecting on the work I have done and finding meaning of what is ahead. How can my life be better? What is fulfillment?

Fantasy Lan…

Family Matters.

Tonight I picked up some random book, The Konkans in the new fiction section of the Fond du Lac library and dove in for a bit of light reading. At one point two Indian brothers, newly arrived in the United States, make an observation about the familial difference between the US and India, saying "Family here is just one man and his wife. No brothers, no cousins, no uncles and aunties and uncles' aunties and aunties' uncles. A place without uncles. Can you imagine? Life is lonely here."

Is it?

I wish I could be completely alone for days or weeks or months at this point. Let us laugh at our current living conditions: a conference room at the county fair grounds, where 10 people have their food, bedroom, and living room all in a cinder block 35' by 25' space. It's not easy to be alone here, although lonely I have sometimes felt.

At home in Utah it's hard to feel lonely. Going home every Sunday was my chance to have what those two brothers did not get to see…