It's funny that a movie like Sex and the City can make me feel so awkward.

Amanda, Amanda, Amanda: three different women, all fans of an HBO television show based on relationship failures and successes. The new movie made me cry for joy of friendship and cry for loss of love and cry for happy endings. I'm a sucker.

I'm deliriously tired but want to jot down quickly that I'm lonely. While home I've spent time with an almost lover, a romantic interest, an ex boyfriend (or two or three) and a few men in pursuit of me. Sadly only one of these encounters felt rewarding. I miss sharing my night's rest with my love. I miss having meaningful and understood conversations. I miss excursions and celebrations and cooking for two. I'm paranoid I will remain loveless for too long. I don't want to be an old maid.


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