Crochetting, cooking, sewing, cleaning, canning, gardening. Some of the past times (and lifelong skills) we all share and enjoy together, taught to us daughters by great mothers.
Last night after eating a huge home-cooked meal at my grandpa's house we all came home to relax and spend more time together as a family. We three ladies lined up all in a row on the couch with our threads and crochet hooks in hand, busying ourselves by making. I love that I can spend hours entertaining myself without the blare of the tv, or even the need for conversation. I enjoy sitting at the kitchen table with something in my hands, perhaps some talk-radio or music in the background, and a look of concentration on my face as I spin out yet another doily or scarf.
There was a time in my life when I wondered what people did with their spare time if they didn't have tv, and now I have to ask myself how it is people can pass so much of their spare time in front of a fantasy picture, absorbed in some alternate reality. It's ironic that they think I am the one wasting my time, or that I am somehow disconnected from the world; being unfamiliar with the latest tv shows and movies doesn't remove me from the play ground of my peers, it simply reintroduces me to myself.
I enjoy knowing myself. I have a beautiful journal filled with silly stories, tear stains, news clippings, recipes, recounts of love and breakups, small drawings, even prints of blog entries, and someday I'm going to read through it cover-to-cover and remember my youthful days with fondness. In fact, the hard-bound journal I am currently writing in is nearly filled after 3 years of use, and I think it accurately portrays who I am. And while I mourn the end of such a powerful book, I look forward to starting another just as I begin a new chapter of my life.
Remember the saying "you can't love others until you love yourself"? Well, I think I'm getting pretty good at both. I am very, very happy to have love in my life.